Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
