He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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