Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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