just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
