You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
