girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
