possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
