I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
A+ Viking dick
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
