ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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