is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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