It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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