Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
