Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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