It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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