Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
tonight lets celebrate not being married
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize