Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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