K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He passed out mid-signature
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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