Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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