Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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