Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
