I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
