Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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