Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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