So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
