WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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