I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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