I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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