I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Randomize
