I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
