we're blogging at a bar
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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