There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
