Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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