Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
