Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
