This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize