I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
