Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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