When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
