But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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