I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
