Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
