we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I party with great urgency now.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
