Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
