can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
