After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
