I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
