Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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