Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
