I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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