last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
