It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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