apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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