I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
