How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
