I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
