C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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