So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
