The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
