I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
