You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
do herpes really smell.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
