Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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