He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Couch. On fire.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
