i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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