i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize