Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
