everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
