i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
