I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
