He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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