i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
