I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
did i just pee glitter
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
