would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize