It was confusing and full of hummus
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
