The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
